All of This
by IamJustLiving
Summary: This is entirely in someone's POV... (who? you'll find out once you read the story) It's all about what he or she feels about another person... It's pretty messed up how he thinks actually... ONE-SHOT! complete


Disclaimer: neither the song nor HP is mine *sobs* these things always make  
me sad!!!!  
A/N: well this is my third song fic... it's something pretty different from  
what I normally write... yea there are some pretty cute and sweet scenes but  
the whole mindset of the story is pretty messed up.... The song is by Blink  
182 called "All of This"; it's a really good song and one of my favorites  
off their newest CD.... Ok enough babbling, go on and read, review, and knock  
yourself out!!!  
  
All of This  
  
Here I am again, on the cold, yet familiar road to that cottage of hers  
that she kept next to the lake. Once again I go just to lose myself and my  
pain and be able to pretend. It's the only escape that I know of.  
  
~*~ With all of this I know now  
Everything inside of my head  
It all just goes to show how  
Nothing I know changes me at all ~*~  
  
For all those who have been dumped you know how I'm feeling. Yet this  
isn't just any normal heartbreak, where you hurt for a while and then you  
forget all about it and move on. This pain won't subside and it's killing  
me slowly. My only respite I can experience is whenever I'm with Holly. Not  
because I love her or anything. She's married for Merlin's sake. Simply  
because with her I can pretend that she's... well, someone else. Someone who  
changed me for the better.  
  
~*~ Again I wait for this to change instead  
To tear the world in two  
Another night with her  
But I'm always wanting you ~*~  
  
When I'm sleeping with Holly I can feel that special way I did when  
Hermione and I first slept together. And I know that Holly is using me as  
well. Her and her husband have been having problems and she's using me for  
revenge I guess. We both know perfectly well about the consequences and all  
that bull crap. But I don't care. As long as I can experience that feeling,  
I don't care what the consequences are.  
  
~*~ Use me Holly come on and use me  
We know where we go  
Use me Holly come on and use me  
We go where we know ~*~  
  
It's actually very easy to pretend. She is also a Muggle and my love was  
Muggleborn. When we fuck she screams out some fool's name, while I scream  
out Hermione's name. It's like we both just pretend because we're both  
hurting. We were both hurting when we met at that bar. We both agreed on  
shagging while pretending, or, as we call it, dreaming in reality. After  
the first time, it became addicting, kind of like a painkiller.  
  
~*~ With all of this I feel now  
Everything inside of my heart  
It all just seems to be how  
Nothing I feel pulls at me at all  
Again I wait for this to pull apart  
To break my time in two  
Another night with her  
But I'm always wanting you ~*~  
  
I don't even know what went wrong between Hermione and I. I treated her  
with tender loving care. I guess you could say I treated her like a queen.  
I would buy her things for no special occasion; I would send flowers at  
least four times a week to her work office. And yet she said it wasn't  
working out because she needed her "space". I know that's just a lame  
excuse because as soon as she moved out of my house, she moved in with Ron.  
God, how I hate that she left me for that poor bastard!  
  
~*~ Use me Holly come on and use me  
We know where we go  
Use me Holly come on and use me  
We go where we know ~*~  
  
I hate the fact that he gets to hold her and touch her and kiss her every  
day. I really do miss that. I remember I used to wait all day for her to  
get home and when she did I would sweep her up in arms and kiss her while I  
whispered sweet nothings into her ear and neck. Over time, she would start  
pushing me away, saying, "Not today Draco, I'm too tired." That's when I  
first realized something was wrong, so I tried making things better by  
buying her more flowers and chocolate, you know, just trying to show her  
how much I truly cared and loved her.  
  
~*~ She's all I need  
She's all I dream  
She's all I'm always wanting  
She's all I need  
She's all I dream  
She's all I'm always wanting you ~*~  
  
But either she didn't see it, didn't want to see it, or saw it and hated  
it, because before I knew she was breaking up with me. ME! The Draco  
Malfoy! The guy that most girls would do anything for. I, needless to say,  
was devastated. I didn't eat for days. When I finally came out of my room I  
went straight to a bar and that's where I found Holly, my only escape from  
the torment.  
  
~*~ Oh again I wait for this to fill the holes  
To shake the sky in two  
Another night with her  
I'm always wanting you  
Another night with her  
But I'm always wanting you~*~  
  
I turned the bend in the road, and pulled up at the driveway to the  
cottage. A small candlelight came from an upstairs window, that I knew to  
be hers. I took out my key and made my way inside and up the stairs. I  
opened the door to the master bedroom and slowly made my way inside. There  
she was lying on the large bed with nothing but her underwear and a tank  
top on. She looked at me.  
"Hello," she smiled sensuously. "I've been waiting."  
I smiled back and began making my way towards the bed. I couldn't help but  
grin inwardly as that special feeling I've always loved began to overwhelm  
me.  
  
A/N: THE END!!! Yea that's it people... hope you enjoyed and if you did I  
wouldn't mind a lil review.... *wink wink* 


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